For Lisa*, a freshman year romance took many forms, ultimately materializing in a broken heart, fresh regrets and a new addiction.

“I started [smoking] for a guy. He was a smoker and he just offered me a cigarette one night, and we started dating so I kept smoking,” Lisa, junior, said. “He was a cute boy, and I wanted him to like me.”

With the relationship blossoming, Lisa began smoking every time they hung out, which soon morphed into a cigarette daily. Despite her earlier fear about cigarettes and aversion to the taste, she grew to like it.

“Before I started, I was one of those girls who would walk by people and cough at them if they were smoking outside a restaurant. But then I picked up a cigarette,” Lisa said. “At the end of the day, it’s a nice thing to relax you. Smoking makes you breathe; the nicotine helps calm you down but it’s also the act of just breathing and letting everything go.”

This calming sensation, coupled with her relationship, was enough to sustain Lisa’s new habit for almost two years – until the pair broke up. Lisa considered quitting with the intention of finding new smoke-free friends. But as it turns out, Lisa’s newfound friends quickly picked up her old habit, placing Emma in a similar situation, surrounded by smokers, and leading her back to her old ways.

“A good majority of my friends smoke. If I wasn’t around it so much or if my [current] girlfriend didn’t smoke, it would be a completely different story,” Lisa said. “I probably would not smoke nearly as much, if any.”

Although Lisa feels she can quit if she wants to, she currently has no desire to stop, despite the health risks involved.

“Some days I really think ‘Ah I have got to stop doing this’ especially when I’m sick. But other days my attitude switches completely and it’s one of those ‘We’re all gonna die anyway might as well enjoy your life while you’re living,’” Lisa said. “As for cancer, I already have a really big risk of having cancer, and I figure I’m going to get it anyway. I know that’s really morbid and really sad to think, but you might as well enjoy it while you’re going through your life.”

Lisa sees herself quitting at some point in college to prepare for a job and family. She chalks these past years spent smoking up to teenage self-exploration, even though she ultimately regrets taking that first cigarette years ago.

“I think high school comes with experimenting things and trying different things,” Lisa said. “I don’t plan on smoking for the rest of my life, but it’s about trying things and finding out who you are and what kind of person you want to be.”

Despite her choices, Lisa knows one thing for certain: her children will not suffer from her poor choices.

“I’m not even going to consider starting a family until I’m not smoking because I don’t want my kids to be around that,” Lisa said. “It’s bad. It’s bad for their health. It’s bad for anyone’s health, but especially young children and I don’t want to expose my kids to that.”

*name has been changed to protect anonymity of student