A clock ticking past midnight and the rustling of a blanket invade the ears of Olivia Dothage as she competes in a staring contest with her ceiling. Dothage spends restless nights counting the hours before school. With heavy eyes riddled with fatigue, she forces her attention onto her blaring 6:30 a.m. alarm, ready to start another day. 

“This is my fourth day without sleep,” Dothage, senior, said. “I have a lot of racing thoughts, I’m always up thinking about things, and I can’t really turn that off.” 

Dothage has chronic insomnia, a sleep disorder that makes it hard to fall or stay asleep and lasts for more than six months. Dothage said the longest she’s gone without any sleep is five days or 120 hours.  

“My sleep schedule is spotty,” Dothage said. “Some days I only get a small amount of sleep or none at all. It’s [a] cycle that doesn’t end.” 

According to the Mayo Clinic, insomnia is often caused by stress and poor sleeping habits. Dothage said she suffers from anxiety which keeps her from good sleep. Angela Scheer, KHS AP Psychology teacher, finds that anxiety and insomnia go hand in hand. 

“If you have insomnia, which is a clinical diagnosis, and you also have anxiety, you’re probably going to have anxiety about not sleeping,” Scheer said. “[This] then leads to more stress which will contribute to not getting enough sleep.” 

Dothage said she often suffers from nightmares that keep her up through the night. She said she also can’t sleep when she’s unable to calm down after a busy day.

“I’ve had this recurring [dream] since I was little where I have bugs in [my] bed,” Dothage said. “I get so frightened that I stand up for an hour, so nothing’s touching me, because I’m convinced there’s bugs on me.”

According to the Sleep Foundation, it is recommended that teens get 8 to 10 hours of sleep daily. Dothage said on a good day, she’ll get about three hours of uninterrupted sleep. Fatigue and exhaustion carry over into Dothage’s school day, affecting her throughout her entire week.

Symptoms of insomnia vary through diagnosis. However, Scheer said many insomniacs have focus issues and process emotions differently. 

“[Less] sleep affects problem-solving skills, making people more erratic [and] likely to overreact,” Scheer said. “Sleep is good for concentration [and] attention; not having sleep will affect all of that.”

On days when Dothage goes without any sleep, her mental state starts to worsen. Dothage said with added stress and fatigue, her mind is often left cloudy. 

“When I’m in class I’ll think I saw something out of the corner of my eye but there’s nothing there,” Dothage said. “I see bugs on paper, I also hear [muted] whispers in my ear.” 

Doctors have prescribed Dothage with sleep medications. However, she said her body continuously gets used to the medicine, rendering it useless. Insomnia also takes a toll on Dothage physically, to the point of passing out.  

“It’s only for a second that I pass out, but it happens pretty frequently,” Dothage said. “Sometimes I’ll wake up on the [bathroom] floor, but then I’ll be fine and [carry on] with my day.”

Despite her extreme tiredness, Dothage said she tries to fully commit her energy to school. Socially, she keeps up appearances and does her best to be there for her friends. 

“I’m still very peppy, I come with a lot of energy, even though I don’t really have it,” Dothage said. “I have this challenge with myself that I have to be more energetic [than] the people around me to prove that I’m okay not sleeping.”

Dothage said she puts her school work and relationships above all else. However, her insomnia keeps her from doing what she cares about the most. 

“There’s a decrease in my work ethic,” Dothage said. “I see [myself] pushing away my relationships [on] accident [since] I don’t have it in me to continue conversations because I’m so tired.” 

Avery Oppermann, senior, and a friend, said Dothage never lets her insomnia show by staying positive, and remaining an upbeat friend. Oppermann also said Dothage continues to stay strong and not let her past experiences way her down. 

“It takes a toll on her, but she always tries to be so positive and not let it ruin her friendships, relationships, her day, and her life,” Oppermann said. “She’s a very independent person and likes to deal with stuff on her own.” 

 Scheer said it’s important for everyone to have good sleeping habits to get a good night’s rest. She said teens’ lack of sleep is often attributed to caffeine and electronic UV light devices. 

“Your brain quickly learns routine and if you are someone who reads, does homework, or watches TV in bed, your brain doesn’t learn that your bed is for sleeping,” Scheer said. “Going to bed and waking up at the same time, creates a biological routine to sleep.” 

Dothage said medications and good sleeping habits do not work for her. Although life without sleep has become her new normal, she has not given up on finding a solution to her insomnia. When Dothage cannot sleep, she finds that reading, painting, and walking help relax her the best. 

“Sleep is so nice,” Dothage said. “If I could sleep all day I would, [but] I just can’t; it’s all I ever think about. I’ll lay there telling myself  ‘Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep,’ but I never can.”