Thank you Charlie Sheen for gracing the world with your little catch phrase that explains to all humanity what goes through the minds of rich, celebrity drug addicts, “I am not bipolar, I am bi-winning.”
I now understand the reason why Mike Tyson, Nicole Richie and our two favorite girls Brittney and Lindsay have captured America’s attention like Sheen. The public and media ate up their cry for attention by broadcasting their life stories and using them as the center of our celebrity-absorbed gossip-world. This, needless to say, gets overused within hours of its release.
In case you don’t know what the magical “tiger blood” is, it is the spellbinding blood that Sheen claims flows through his drug-abused veins. He and all of the other crazy drug addicts seem to possess it, allowing them to use as many drugs as they like. Thanks to Sheen’s incredible explanation, I now understand why all of these crazies are constantly the center of our pop-culture-obsessed lives. They all have some sort of mystic feline animal running through their bloodstream that us “normals” do not.
Of course there are ways for these breeds to connect. The rest of the demented druggies in the world can now blog with Charlie on “Ihavetigerbloodtoo.com.” This is a non-judging site where celebrities, who have equally messed up their lives, can express their reasons for drinking their way into prime-time.
All of the other beautiful and rich celebrities who used to be singers, movie stars or any other type of public attention-seeking human being, are indeed equal to Charlie Sheen. The difference between Sheen and everyone else is he used his incredible manipulation skills to explain why all of these crazy stars are the way they are.
Just because Sheen’s career is falling apart does not make him, in any way shape or form, some sort of god, let alone a winner. Besides, all other druggies in the world have won over public attention in countless situations before. In fact, all of them should preferably be ostracized and banned to some far away island full of mammoths and raptors where nobody would hear about them ever again.
