PDA: public display of affection, or what I like to call, “making everyone around you feel uncomfortable.” Don’t get me wrong, showing affection toward your significant other is not bad. Whether it’s a kiss on the cheek or holding hands, it doesn’t matter in private to me, but the second it occurs in a public setting you’ve crossed the line. 

I’ll never forget the time I was trying to eat my lunch and looked over to see a couple aggressively making out in the cafeteria. I just about threw up in my mouth. It’s like they thought what they were doing was perfectly normal. I’m all up for normalizing issues in 2022, but this is a serious issue that should not be normalized. I deserve an apology for witnessing that public offense.

“You’re just jealous,” they say. “You wish you had a relationship like ours.” The real answer is no. I am not jealous that your boyfriend walks you around the school holding your hand. Trust me I get what it feels like, I was three years old once too. Hey, if I wanted to embarrass myself in front of my classmates, I would do exactly what you’re doing, but I think I’ll pass.

The ultimate question is whether PDA couples know that everyone is judging them. Maybe they’re too invested in each other to realize. Seriously, I can’t tell you the amount of times I have heard, “look over there,” or “ew that’s disgusting,” while watching a couple shove their tongues down each other’s throats. 

This is starting to become such a normal occurrence that there is an Instagram account dedicated to the act: @khs_pda_patrol. The account encourages students to send in photos of PDA around school, so that the couples can be publicly humiliated for it. According to the account owner, the motive behind the page was to “inspire people to hate PDA as much as I do.” I am NOT the only one who thinks PDA is disgusting. 

Let me restate one more time. I am not against showing affection toward your significant other. I understand that it can be an important part in a relationship. What I don’t understand is why it needs to be in public. When trying to read in the library, I would prefer not to hear “I love you,” “I love you more,” going back and forth. Was the urge to flirt out loud in the middle of the library that hard to resist? I’m starting to miss the endless room in the hallways, where I didn’t have to walk around touchy couples. Please, save it all for later.

I am speaking on behalf of the people who despise high school PDA. Next time someone asks you to hold their hand in the hallway, resist! Keep in mind that you are not making others jealous, but making them laugh in your face. And if you do fall in the trap, be prepared to pay the consequences by finding yourself on Kirkwood PDA’s Instagram page.