Congratulations: you made it to high school. A whole new pool of people and a world of love awaits inside the double doors of KHS. Time to get that picture-perfect high school sweetheart relationship you’ve been imagining ever since you first watched High School Musical. It’s a time for breaking out in song with your crush, getting to know each other over a milkshake with two straws and passing love letters in class. High school is a time for real love, the type that lasts – right?

I hate to break it to you, but whoever said your love life would get better in high school lied. Forget everything you’ve seen in the movies because chivalry has gone out the window. Walking to the front porch with flowers, opening the car door and offering a jacket when it gets cold has been retired. Now, you get a “here” text, followed by making the 20-yard dash outside hoping not to get captured by the Ring doorbell, then driving around for hours just listening to music. If you’re lucky enough, you may win a dinner at the most prestigious restaurant in the area: Chick-fil-A. It’s funny how times have changed, and I’m here to put it into perspective.

Teenage relationships these days start by rummaging through your quick adds, the modern version of a buzz book, on Snapchat. If you’re ever so lucky to get an add-back, you begin snapping. When people use the term “snapping,” it doesn’t mean they are sparking up elaborate conversations over Snapchat; it simply means they are sending pictures of their faces or, even worse, a half-face or bare ceiling. No words, just meaningless pictures; but to teenagers it means something. It marks what could be the beginning of the “talking stage” and anascent to the top of the infamous best friends list. That is, if your snap-back timing is on point: too early and you’ll seem desperate, too late and you’re deemed uninterested. It’s all about the waiting game. Nothing is better than walking into school and realizing that the special person you’ve been snapping is sitting two seats behind you. Do you talk? No. Do you acknowledge each other’s existence? Maybe. It’s just how it is.

Many adults feel that we communicate through our phones to avoid face to face contact and eliminate immediate rejection. Although it is somewhat true, using social media makes it that much easier. Don’t like the person? Ghost them, block them, unfriend them, do whatever you have to do. And that’s it. Dust off your hands, and you are officially free of association with that person. If you’re the one getting ghosted, I’m sorry, it’s going to hurt for a while. If you’re the ghoster, just make sure you don’t have your Snap Maps turned on. Your fallen love interest might be one of the crazy few who spend $3.99 a month to stalk people with Snapchat premium. 

Nowadays securing an in-person hangout is like winning a Nobel Prize for the “rizz of the century.” You may be “just friends” for a while, but you’re waiting to see if it will turn into a relationship, situationship or friends-with-benefits-ship. Everyone on the outside is waiting for the confirmation post on Instagram to see what it really is. 

Moral of the story, the way teens go about relationships is honestly something to laugh about. The things teenagers obsess over most are stupid and meaningless. Love has changed in so many ways, and high school isn’t the place where you have to figure it out. If you want to spend your time dipping your toes in the water, be my guest. Just don’t get butt-hurt when you realize they’re not the one. And if you choose not to partake in the high school dating scene, don’t stress; I don’t anticipate hearing wedding bells any time soon. Just take your time and do what is right for you.