As a violinist, I have many opinions on instruments and their players. I’m not saying I don’t see other instruments as inferior to the violin. But, I am saying that the people that play them fit a very particular niche. Sometimes I love playing an instrument, and sometimes I hate it. Either way, if you’re not a violinist,  I probably hate you.

Violin:

If you play violin, your family probably praises you for every move you make in life. From concerts to winning a board game, everything “comes naturally” to you. Because of this, your ego inflates with every compliment. You like to brag about the microscopic things because, after all, the spotlight has always been on you. From getting gold pluses on your solo to being first chair, you boast about it all. 

Viola:

There are two types of viola players: the ones that are so loud you cannot hear yourself think, and the ones that are so quiet you almost run them over while walking to the back of your section. There’s no in between. Regardless of which you are, you probably picked viola to be cool and quirky. While all your friends chose to play the violin, you wanted to be different and play viola. That’s okay though, maybe you really aren’t like the others, solely because of the fact that you play viola.

Cello:

The cello is an interesting instrument played by interesting people. Again, there are two very recognizable types of cello players. There are the “my heart and soul is cello, I would absolutely die for it” players, which are the ones sitting alone at lunch trying to compose their own pieces. And there’s the “I’m just here for the credits and to do things that look good on applications” type people. Those are the cool ones. Whether you are the “cool” cellist or the “loser” cellist, you probably love talking to your people. 

Bass:

If you have a laid back personality, you play the bass. You hate to be a part of the drama. You like living a secretive life. Being a hippie is part of your persona, so being introverted comes naturally. You dread the walk into the orchestra room and hate talking to other sections. You’d much rather mingle within your own, safe, group.  

Piano:

Pianists’ mostly blend into the background of orchestral arrangements. They are used to being shy and, unlike violinists, are not the center of attention. If you play piano, you also need an activity to keep your fingers nimble and quick, so you’re probably a knitter. You feel a lot of resentment towards your parents because they forced you to play piano no matter how many times you begged them to let you quit. You long to be part of an actual ensemble, such as orchestra and band, because you are so socially deprived. 

Take this quiz to find out which orchestra instrument you are.

What orchestra instrument are you?

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Question 1/6

Your mom comes to your room and informs you that it is 7:15 and your alarm didn't go off. You have to leave by 7:20 in order to get a good parking spot. What is your reaction?

Freak out at your mom. After all, she is supposed to be your alarm.

Grab absolutely everything you need and rush out the door. You are not sacrificing that parking spot.

Say nothing and get ready like normal. Be prepared to park on a side street.

Take your time getting ready and risk the consequences of parking in the senior lot. Just don’t be surprised if your car gets saran wrapped.

Submit

Question 2/6

Your friend asks you for a ride to the hockey game. You really don’t want to go, so you:

Tell them to find another ride. You are not leaving your room to go to some absurd game.

Tell them you’ll drive them somewhere, but not to the hockey game. The games are lame anyway.

Drive them, you don’t know how to say no.

Find a ride for you and your friend because you don’t want to waste your valuable gas.

Submit

Question 3/6

You walk into class two minutes late after going to the bathroom during passing period. You assumed the line would go fast, but it didn’t. Your teacher marks you absent. What do you do?

Throw a tantrum at your teacher. You walked into class, therefore, you aren’t missing and should not be marked missing.

Loudly ask a question to your deskmate, the perfectly subtle way to alert your teacher of your presence.

Don’t say anything. Your teacher will see that you’re sitting at your desk eventually, right?

Do nothing. Absences don’t really matter.

Submit

Question 4/6

You order a pair of shoes off of GOAT. In the picture, they are super cute, and will match a lot of your outfits. You open the box after it arrives, and they definitely do not look like the picture. You…

Send their customer service reps a strongly worded email. You obviously deserve a refund.

Post on every social media app that they messed up your order. Everyone needs to know this.

Keep the shoes. There’s no way you’re going to go through the embarrassment of sending them back.

Accept that they messed up and send back the shoes. There’s no need to make a big fuss about it.

Submit

Question 5/6

Your friend asks if you want to go to Chick-Fil-A with them during lunch. You immediately say yes. Ten minutes later, your friend says “nevermind,” they’re not going. Next period, you see them walk in with a Chick-Fil-A cup in their hand. What is your reaction?

Get super angry and send them a bunch of aggressive texts. They need to know you’re mad at them.

Yell at them from across the class. You don’t even need to get up to argue.

Don’t say anything. They don’t need you for everything.

You don’t care. Eating in your car is better anyways.

Submit

Question 6/6

At your orchestra concert, your instrument breaks right before you are supposed to go on stage. What do you do?

Try and fix it before you go on stage and pray it does not break.

Get up in front of the whole audience and tell your teacher your instrument is broken. The orchestra can wait.

Sit there and only play the notes that sound right. You may be sticking out from the entire orchestra, but you still want to be playing.

Don’t say anything and just shadow bow the whole piece. It’s not like they can hear you.

Submit