Congratulations, you’ve made it to high school. Whether you’re nervous or excited, you’ll probably still end up getting lost on your first day, so let me help you try to figure out the building. Here are all the juicy details and tips for navigating KHS.
Social studies hallway-
The Social studies hallway, where I would like to make a public apology to all who I’ve flat tired here. I promise it isn’t personal. It doesn’t matter the speed you walk at, how tight against the wall you may be or even how careful of erratic doors you are, you will exit this hallway thoroughly damaged.
English hallway–
Introducing the English hallway, a.k.a the only hallway where your life may be regularly threatened by unpredictable doors. Not only is it a regularity, but some might even call it a rite of passage to get a door to your face within the first week of school.
Art hallway-
WARNING: EARPLUGS NEEDED. If you ever choose to use this hallway, there will be numerous students playing their instruments. And yes, it will be annoying. Thankfully, you can escape this irritating noise by hiding in the art hallway bathrooms, which are conveniently open once every three months.
Language building-
This building may just be the most mediocre spot on campus. I’ve never met anyone who either hated or loved this building. It’s simply there. In fact the only time I ever truly hated this building was before it was attached to the rest of KHS, back when we had to walk a million miles to class.
Science hallway-
Despite the steep stairways and the constant earthy stench in the science hallway, this is one of the best parts of the KHS campus. Firstly, the teachers here are the nicest in the building. And secondly, it’s almost guaranteed that you’ll watch Bill Nye at least once a semester.
Library-
Looking for some peace and quiet? You’ve come to the right place. The Library is one of the most calming places to be during the day. Come at lunch or during I.P. to get work done, do some puzzles, meet with teachers in the PRIDE center or just catch a break.
Walker Commons-
Are you loud? Do you love sitting on the floor? If so, this is the perfect place for you! Here you can find all kinds of people, but mostly freshmen who haven’t yet found their perfect lunch spot.
SJ-
Thanks to its state-of-the-art computer lab, constant rotation of video games on the TV and even a kitchen (with a fridge and microwave), there is no question that SJ is the single best part of KHS. Home to TKC, Pioneer Yearbook and KHTV, this is the perfect hideaway for all journalism lovers.
Senior hallway-
Though I am not a senior yet, even I can agree that this is a great hallway. Everyone can, simply because it reminds them that one day it will be their class name displayed for all to see. It’s always somewhat quiet, and thanks to its wider interior, it never feels too busy.
Keating Theater-
This is the place where many Kirkwood students learn to thrive on stage through The KH Players, putting on plays and musicals for the whole school. However, this is also where we’re occasionally held hostage, listening to our counselors drone on about our college and schedules.
Business hallway-
There’s no reason not to love the Business hallway. This area has one of the best bathrooms, which is regularly used by teenage girls to get the perfect mirror pics. It’s also where Pep Nation works, crafting themes and posting game times.
Senior parking lot (Dougherty Ferry)-
This is the elite parking lot, your prize for reaching senior year, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow — you get what I’m saying. Here you’ll find the senior lot, a place where they can chill before the day ahead, or eat lunch in the comfort of their own car.
Junior parking lot (Essex)-
If you choose to park, or do so much as walk through the junior parking lot, this is a formal warning. This parking has a rough history with accidents, so make sure you look both ways before crossing.
Athletic trainer’s office-7
A known fact about the athletic trainer’s room: over 30 foot fungi have spawned here. Don’t look that up. But I mean seriously, why is everyone in there barefoot? Anyways, despite the lack of footwear, the trainer’s room is the best place for all your treatments.
Math hallway- 3
Prepare for the longest walk of your life. It doesn’t matter which room you’re in, the journey through the hallway combined with the prospect of a math class are guaranteed to make for a miserable outing.
David Holley Gym-6
The criteria for this gym includes knowing the Kirkwood Battle Cry and being decked out in red. So please follow these simple requirements if you plan on attending one of Kirkwood’s notorious pep rallies or a varsity game.
Denver Miller Gym-8
I have nothing but complaints for Denver Miller. Somehow it’s both freezing and humid at once. And not to mention, it constantly reeks of tortuous exercise with a side of B.O.
Main office-
I love it, it smells like a new car. And I’m being honest when I say I would marry whoever designed this place. Same goes to whoever named it, I mean what better way to enter the building than through the welcome center? Truly the perfect way to merge the language and math building, walking through such a minimalistically designed room.
There’s not much to say about the pool. Sure, the heating’s nice, but the constant chlorine stench makes me lightheaded. Despite this, it is a relatively nice building when you look past the swimmers.
