Classmates stare as she walks down the hall; her blonde hair swaying with a smirk on her face, designer purse on one manicured pink hand. Following quickly behind her, Karen and Gretchen form the trio infamous for running the entire school and wearing pink on Wednesdays. The unlucky few plummet down the social ladder into the worst table at lunch, never to be heard from again. Welcome back to North Shore, losers. It’s the Plastics.
First, let’s make sure we’re all on the same page. Somehow, with the literal music note in the title and singing in the trailer, some failed to realize that the new “Mean Girls” is a movie musical. If they had done a second of research, it would be obvious. A screen adaptation of the Broadway hit is exactly what we needed in 2024. And bringing in Reneé Rapp, who also played the infamous blonde onstage, should have only made it better.
Unfortunately, that Broadway hit turned into a Broadway miss during the protagonist Cady’s very first song. Replacing “It Roars” with “What Ifs” was bad enough; I got serious Beige Mom vibes from Cady. Her original character wanted to be liked. She wanted to figure out how to be a teenager, to be seen, not just alone in the middle of Africa with her researcher parents. She used her knowledge of nature to try and make sense of this new world she was thrown into. New Cady seemed so disconnected; she had no other goal than to date Aaron Samuels. It was like she didn’t even care about the Plastics. But, to be fair, I wouldn’t be able to focus on anything else if Christopher Briney sat in front of me in math class either. And speaking of Aaron, what happened to his songs and verses? Two words. Connie baby. Just watch season 2 episode 3 of “The Summer I Turned Pretty.”
The old “Mean Girls” was narrated by Cady, who voiced over some points in the movie. The new “Mean Girls” was opened and voiced over by Janis and Damian, who posted their narrative songs on TikTok. The use of social media in order to spread gossip and the Burn Book pages helped bring in a modernized feel to the up-to-date movie. But even that fell flat at times, with the constant e.l.f. advertisements (Regina George would use Dior lip oils) and occasional Shein-inspired clothes.
Modernizing some of the jokes stopped the vicious cycle of movies making fun of anyone different from the Eurocentric beauty standards, yet it failed to mention that those jokes are still happening today. Pretending like it never happened isn’t much better than saying it out loud.
The new “Mean Girls” wasn’t bad. It didn’t stray far from the plot of the original, and it was nice to see that it didn’t only cast thin white people. The biggest takeaway I got from the new “Mean Girls,” is that it was stuck in between worlds, being pulled back and forth from the sheer popularity and reputation of the original.
If you’re going to remake the “Mean Girls” movie as a musical and use the songs from the Broadway version, then you actually have to go full movie musical. Most of the time, the songs seemed like a regular soundtrack of a movie, and the characters happened to be singing along. All the other characters were their usual vibrant personalities with their jokes and depth, humming along to the occasional tune. The Cady we needed was dedicated to her friends until she got wrapped up in a Regina-induced rage. This Cady just seemed lost.
However, none of that matters if we all admit the real reason we went to see “Mean Girls.” Reneé Rapp, Christopher Briney or both?
