I’m out for dead presidents

Maybe you’re the “Mo’ Money Mo’ Problems” type. Perhaps the “Gold Digger”/ “Rich Girl” flavor, but there’s no denying that money make the world go ‘round as Slim Jimmy eloquently notes in Rae Sremmurd’s “This Could Be Us.” We engrave the faces of our nation’s historically significant trailblazers on our currency. We learn to religiously save each penny inside of a ceramic swine to instill virtues of patience and responsibility in our character. We celebrate our first paycheck as if it were the prize pig at the county fair. Aside from the noticeable link to a certain pink farm animal, what could be so wrong about money that it could drive Bruno Mars, who was already well on his way to stardom, to relentlessly brood about how he wanted to be a billionaire so f*****g bad in Travie McCoy’s 2010 ode to wealth?

Surely by this time you’ve grown acquainted with how money changes people; it twists their minds, warps their consciouses, squeezes out any sense they have and wrings it into a pot of irrational stew. Skeptical? Stan Kroenke gladly yanked the hearts from millions of St. Louisans with the loyal aid of an equally delusional Roger Goodell to make a quick buck. The same happened in 1968 when the Hawks bolted for Atlanta with their ridiculously impressive TV deal and subsequently stopped having playoff success. Pujols tossed up the deuce to the city in which he won two World Series’ and three MVPs in exchange for three lackluster seasons and a fat salary with the Angels.

But honestly, money has nothing to do with sports.

Money has to do with people.

Wu-Tang Clan’s “C.R.E.A.M.” proclaims cash rules everything around me (emphasis on the me). Jay-Z ponders would you rather be underpaid or overrated? in Kanye’s “So Appalled” (emphasis on the you). Dr. Dre feels it’s necessary to let everyone know he’s come a long way from a hundred dollars a month to a hundred mil’ in a day in his “Compton” verse (emphasis on the I’ve). Sports are not people; they are played by people. They do not sign contracts, endorse razors or own a fleet of Maybachs.

Take the money out of sports and what are you left with? Let’s start with the facilities; urban meccas that play host to billion dollar franchises and the rap game’s finest. Gone are the million dollar weight rooms, hot tubs the size of a lap pool and stadiums who sell their integrity to advertisers (no more Papa John’s Stadium or KFC Yum Center for the University of Louisville). Not very glamorous, but we can roll with the punches. Athletes are normal people too; they can go the Y or local high school like everyone else. Speaking of those athletes, envision a roster of equally compensated teammates who never hold out for contracts greater than their peers, who play for the sake of the game and accept they won’t have to forfeit their man card for a risqué ad campaign. And the fans; their hearing and sight will be spared due to the eradication of aforementioned corporation partnerships.

Allow me to summarize. The sole purpose of the stadium is to house the sport. The sole purpose of the athlete is to play the sport and live their respective lives. The sole purpose of the fan is to observe the sport and do whatever heckling they need to.

This sounds quite familiar. Probably because I just described high school athletics. Wow!

The games we play and watch have never been about money. They fall victim to harsh misconstructions about the manner in which they are supported, with the culprit being the misinformed individual. People love to complain about how football and basketball get so much more money than the other programs, but if they considered for a moment how much revenue those two bring in for the school and the maintenance required to keep them running at an acceptable level, hopefully the grievance would cease. The modernization of the football stadium and the construction of the pool were organized under private funding, not the school budget; another frequent misapprehension. I would assume the donors for KHS’ facilities don’t contribute to have their names for everyone to see, but claiming we shouldn’t have new facilities because the school needs to focus on other areas regarding its spending is frankly a disservice to the contributions of a group of generous individuals.

To all of you reading this who point fingers at sports for the current state of our district, I’d be more than happy to tell you you’re magnificently wrong. Money is not the problem. Rectangles of paper can inflict just about as much damage as Meek Mill can with his raps. The Drake to money’s Meek Mill is greed; to procure an unreasonable quantity or to transform funding into what is isn’t. Sports only help our school’s financial status and, as Kendrick asserts in “Money Trees” a dollar might, turn to a million and we all rich.