A complicated issue

No matter what the situation is, knowing what to value when it comes to sex and hooking up is hard, experts say.  Development of sexuality and beliefs regarding it depends on the person, Danny Gladden, HIV/STI prevention coordinator at Project ARK, part of Washington University School of Medicine, said.

“There are different understandings of sexuality,” Gladden said. “There are some individuals who have a more physical attachment to sex and there are some who look more to the physiological stimulus it offers.”

Others, he said, combine the two, but how individuals react to sexual experiences and what sexual experiences they decide to partake in vary greatly depending on what they look for going into a hook up.

“One of the things that is true about adolescents who are entering into sexuality is that there is not one path for sexual experience,” Gladden said. “Their experience on how they enjoy sexuality depends on how they were raised.”

Craig Dickinson, health teacher, also emphasizes the importance of what teens have been exposed to in their attitudes toward sexuality.

“You like to think values come from the families, but a lot of time it comes from friends, TV, what they see in movies, trends, and all that, so those things don’t always show proper guidance,” Dickinson said. “I try to give good information because a lot of kids have bad information that they hear from their friends or whoever, so it’s really important to give them the proper information that’s out there. The earlier they can get that, the better you can prevent a bad choice.”

One thing Gladden said is interesting, though, is the assertion that the media and entertainment have a huge role on earlier sexual activity for teens. That belief, he said, is not true.

“You’ll hear people talk about the media playing a role in sexuality, but the reality is that the kids are hitting puberty earlier,” Gladden said. “That’s the point where attraction is really notable and has been connected with sexual activity. Puberty is occurring earlier because we have better doctors and nutrition, and that leads to better development. That’s not saying media doesn’t play a role in how we look at sexuality, but media has no control over our development. When people are saying kids are becoming sexually active earlier, it’s not media’s fault, it’s nutrition’s fault.”

According to a survey by The Kaiser Family Foundation, a program dedicated to providing health information, over two-thirds of 15 to 17 year olds report participating in hook ups, and according to Planned Parenthood, just about half of high school students have had sex. No matter when any form of sexual activity begins, Gladden and Dickinson both agree founding a solid set of beliefs and values regarding sexuality can help prevent dismaying situations. These beliefs, they say, are best founded on accurate information regarding sexual topics along with influence from family, religion or personal morals.

Kirkwood’s health program is designed to deliver information on topics surrounding sexuality accurately and fully. The district is not restricted to an abstinence-only program, and while it places emphasis on abstinence as the only entirely effective way to prevent the physical and emotional repercussions of sexual activity, it also strives to provide knowledge about various forms of contraception, a topic on which Dickinson says students seem hugely misinformed. Classes are split by grade level, with freshmen and sophomores grouped together and juniors and seniors grouped together in order to provide ease of conversation. In Human Relations classes, that conversation veers more toward the emotional and social aspects of sexual decisions.

Through the information and discussion facilitated by the classes, Dickinson hopes students become more informed about sexuality and more able to develop their own opinions in regards to it.

“We don’t teach values,” Dickinson said. “That’s a big thing. I’ll let the kids say their opinions and thoughts on things, but as a teacher, I don’t teach values. I’ll give the information, but once you have that information you have to decide what’s best for you.”

Whats your take?

Jordyn Rivera, senior

Jordyn Rivera made a decision to not have sex in high school. Despite the attitude expressed by many teens saying sex is no big deal, Rivera, senior, realizes that her views differ from the Hollywood portrayal of high school relationships where sex is a natural part.

“I’m not ready, and if you love someone you can wait,” Rivera said. “I don’t agree with hooking up [having sex]  with random people, but I’m not going to judge other people based on what they do. I want to wait and have sex with someone I’m in love with.”

Rivera was in a serious relationship lasting several years, yet her choice to remain abstinent did not negatively affect the relationship.

“He never pressured me, surprisingly. He was really understanding and we never fought about it,” Rivera said. “We ended up breaking up but for different reasons. He respected my morals.”

Emily Hall, junior

A sharp pain under her ribcage that made movement difficult and painful landed Emily Hall in the doctor’s office March 1, 2011. That day she received word she was going to have a baby. Hall’s biggest concern was no longer what outfit to wear to school or where she wanted to travel for vacation.

“I could never have an abortion. That would just be guilt on my mind forever,” Hall said. “So it was either adoption or keep her. Those were my only two options.”

Though she initially wanted to keep the baby, Hall realized she did not have the financial means to care for a child. Eventually Hall’s aunt decided to adopt the baby, and Hall traveled to her aunt’s house in Louisiana for a semester until Lilyahna Korin was born Nov. 1, 2011. Through her aunt’s adoption, Hall will be able to remain in contact with Lilyahna and be a part of her life since she wants to avoid letting Lilyahna experience the feelings of doubt that Hall never wanted her.

Currently planning to graduate on time with her class, Hall knew she needed to stay healthy while continuing her education. While she does not regret the choices she made, Hall cautions others.

“When you’re hooking up, be careful what you do when you have sex,” Hall said. “And think about your actions before it happens.”

Thats what he said

by Ryan Bearden

Throughout KHS exists a wide variety of guys and their approaches to girls. Here, I have listed the most notable and prevalent of these types. Of course, the guy population is not limited to these classifications.
-The Egotist
Nice guys finish last? Well, to some extent, that could not be more true. The amount of girls a high school boy hooks up with often directly correlates to the girth of his ego and the extent of his ability to insult his peers. When successful, this guy will be with a girl for approximately one to two hours.
-The Chameleon
This guy will search non-stop for some comparable trait or activity with a girl he is pursuing. The guy will mimic false physical and personal traits, like a chameleon, if he cannot easily find something in common with a girl. He will do anything to interest the girl, including ditching his friends or spending way too much money. When successful, the guy will maintain a physical relationship for approximately one to two months, or until he is deemed as clingy as a chameleon to a branch.
-The Lonely Hearts Club
High schools are made up of a large population of nice guys who are terrified to talk to girls. As a result, lessons a guy can learn from trying and failing with girls are dawdled until college, or perhaps even adulthood.
-The Jack-Of-All-Trades
Remaining are boys who maintain a balance between all three of these categories. They have the genuine kindness of those too afraid to talk to girls, the assertiveness of the egotists and the interest of the chameleons. These guys are interested in a meaningful relationship with a girl, including, but not limited to, hook ups. In high school, these guys are hit and miss in their attempts to hook up with girls and likely get placed into the dreaded friend zone a few times. The friend zone is a negative term, but does not mean that a guy does not want girls to be his friends. Friend zone means that you are too good of friends with a girl who you would like to date and hook up with. The friendship inhibits both dating and a physical relationship because the girl does not want to “make things weird” or “end up losing [a guy] as a friend.” But most of them maintain their confidence and learn lessons that enable them to eventually find success with girls during high school and later in their lives.

That’s what she said

by Emily Trokey

No one can agree. My parents think it means someone is having sex. My neighbor thinks it means two kids are going to hang out at the park. But I be- lieve hooking up is kiss- ing. There are many other types of girls in the world that look at hooking up and relationships with boys completely differently than me.

-The Stage 5 Clinger
She still has feelings for that boy that took her to the 8th grade dance. The fact that he held the door for her clearly means they are meant to be. The past is all that is important to her, and she will do anything to keep herself there. Moving on will never be an option. Marrying her high school sweetheart is high on her priority list. Having a history with someone is comfortable, and that is where the clinger will forever remain.
-One of the Guys
The guys call her “dude” and will happily release a ground-shaking burp with her around. She isn’t someone to cuddle with but a human punching bag. Taco Bell runs and trips to the gym are a regular thing for her and her guy friends. They see her as a best friend and nothing more. She is quite possibly their portal to the girl mind. Every guy needs one of these, so instead of being ashamed of this, embrace it.
-The Cootie Queen
Boys have cooties. The term “hooking up” makes her hands sweat and cheeks blush. She is petrified of the male sex. All-girl PE classes and her lunch table are safe havens. She may never speak to a boy or have her first kiss before graduating high school, but she will have absolutely no distractions in class. Rumor has it college cures cooties.
-The Girl Next Door
Her first kiss was in downtown Kirkwood in 7th grade and yes, everyone watched. Hold- ing hands in the hallway makes her smile, she’s seen The Notebook 15 times and lives for watching the fireworks in Kirkwood Park on the Fourth of July. Being single doesn’t bother her, but she can’t help but notice how cute that boy in her math class is. Most girls will end up in this category at some point in their lives. Hooking up doesn’t scare her. It is part of a re- lationship, but it is also something saved for a relationship. The Girl Next Door is in the middle of the road when it comes to relationships