Call outs is a new opinion constant exclusive to the web

My lack of Netflix or networks like Showtime or HBO has made me a cable connoisseur, particularly, reality TV. There’s something about reality TV that just draws me. I want to know what it’s like to have 19 kids. I want to know what it’s like to have half a body. I want to know what it’s like to be 600 pounds. Yes, these are all actual subjects of shows on TLC. That’s why, to me, one man looking for love with 30 highly competitive women who each own about 40 evening gowns seems more like a fantastic show rather than a psychotic social experiment.

The newest season of The Bachelor premiered Jan. 5, and one thing was different from past seasons I’ve seen: there was a fairly diverse range in races represented in the competition. There was even a plus-sized model. Who was then promptly eliminated the first night. But progress… right?

This season features Chris Soles, an Iowan farmer, also know as “Prince Farming”. To show his midwestern vibe he has the women do activities like tractor racing and mud racing, of course while wearing bikinis and evening gowns.

One thing is missing from this reality show: the reality part. I’m definitely not claiming to be a dating expert, but from what I’ve seen, it does not include group dates with seven other women and countless bottles of champagne. In reality women don’t have to “steal” men every five minutes just so they have a chance to talk to them. The strange circumstances the show puts their contestants in makes it hard to sympathize with them at all. I watch the bachelor like an omnipresent higher power—half disgusted and half laughing—watching the whole situation spiral out of control.

But man, if it’s not entertaining. And so again I set my outdated DVR for Sunday night just to watch the spectacle again.