I hate football. I don’t see the point of encouraging brawny men to run into each other and throw around a ball that isn’t even round, elevating them to near-god status and letting them do pretty much whatever they please. In fact, I’m downright offended by the exorbitant amount of money they earn and the amount of people who look up to them without considering their character at all. Frankly, it’s disgusting.

That being said, I love the Super Bowl.

Not the actual football, mind you. When the game comes on I turn to my phone or those around me and completely disengage from the gameplay I know nothing about. But when the commercials come on, my attention snaps back to the screen and a hush falls across the room. Most of the commercials are highly entertaining (like the one for Nationwide starring invisible Mindy Kaling), and even if they’re not, it’s fun to discuss them.

And oh, the halftime shows. Huge stars like Katy Perry, Bruno Mars and Beyoncé putting on extravaganzas of lights and fireworks and dancing sharks. They, much like the commercials, can be actually entertaining or (like the aforementioned sharks) so bad they’re hilarious.

Not to mention the mounds of food my family consumes during the evening. My taste buds are still recovering from the chili, wings, chips, dip, pie and cupcakes.

But the absolute best part of the Super Bowl is the Puppy Bowl: two hours of adorable, adoptable puppies romping around a tiny football field carrying around squeaky toys and occasionally running into the “end zone.” This year a lab named Bryan Adams actually kicked a field goal for Team Ruff. Although my team, Team Fluff, suffered a crushing defeat in the Puppy Bowl, it was one of the cutest experiences of my life.

And this is what I take away from Super Bowl Sunday: Puppies are cute, eating too much makes me nauseous, dancing sharks make me laugh harder than anything and football still doesn’t make any sense.