*This piece is entirely satirical

If your name is Eric Zigler, stop reading now. This does not concern you.

Nobody really wants to pay attention in class. Lessons haven’t been interesting since elementary school and you can just Google all the answers anyways. Thankfully, you don’t have to remain focused in your lessons anymore. Gone are the days where students diligently take notes with a pen and a college ruled sheet of paper. Students are throwing away their notebooks, recycling their graphing paper and leaving their pencils in 2017. Because Kirkwood has laptops now, and no matter what you’re doing on them, it always looks like you’re paying attention. Are you typing up your annotations to your APUSH slides or are you mindlessly playing Pappa’s Freezeria? There’s no way to tell. Unfortunately, in order to counteract this, the tyrannical government that is the technology department has placed restrictions on what websites we can access. However, some great time-wasters slipped through the cracks. Here are five free games you can play on your school-issued laptops during class.

2048: In this timeless classic, players attempt to add up numbers in order to reach 2048. Just about everyone has heard of it, and those who haven’t can quickly pick it up during a math lecture. Plus, the game is centered around math, so you’re basically paying attention while playing it.

Snake: This Google-made easter egg will keep you occupied for an entire AP U.S. block. Learn about the Union army’s anaconda plan by collecting little apples to grow your snake while simultaneously blockading the south and dividing them by taking control of the Mississippi River. While you’re clacking away on your keyboard, your teacher will just assume you’re diligently taking notes.

Octagon: You may not have heard of this game, but it’s quite mesmerizing. In this game, you’re an octagon rolling along, trying not to fall off of the track using the arrow keys. You can get this game on your computer through the app store meaning that once you download it, you won’t need an internet connection. You can play it whenever or wherever you want, even in the English building. Good luck trying to focus ever again.

Cool-mathgames.com: This is the holy grail of distractions. Every single game you’ve ever seen is on this website. ‘How is this not blocked?’ you may be asking yourself. The answer is in the title: math. Yes, because of a few educational games scattered throughout thousands of time-wasters somehow allows them to classify themselves as a “math” website. The only math I’ve learned from this is how long I should let my pizzas cook in Pappa’s Pizzeria. So you keep telling yourself you’re doing math while playing your heart out.

Dinosaur Game: If you’ve ever been anywhere in any building on campus and tried to connect to WiFi, you’ve likely experienced some trouble. This game is practically made for KHS students whose laptops may have trouble connecting to the spotty internet. All you have to do is give up on connecting and turn off your computers WiFi. Then, open up Google Chrome and try to search for something. You’ll see an error message and a little dinosaur on the screen. Press space and prepare to be transfixed for hours. This isn’t the most exciting game in the world but it’s pretty great compared to chemistry.